Unnamed(will think of one as i get more into it)

[Kazamatta]

This is a story i been wanting to write for a long time. Lost intrest in doing it for a while but now I will. Tell me what ya'll think,compliments and criticism both are fine itll help me make it better. I will update it each day adding a little more each day.

Spoiler

                              Chapter 1: First Encounter
 
     Huh.. what happened...where am I? I remember being outside with Kiona and...that explosion! What was it I saw a fash of light heard a scream then everything went dark and silent. Did I get knocked out? I hope Kiona is safe, I hope it wasn't her that I heard scream. I need to find her but it's so dark I can't see anything. You feel something draining down you face, you wipe but its so dark you cant see what it is. You hear a voice, it sounds faint and demented, saying "Joseph. Joseph. JOSEPH." You look around trying to figure out which direction it is coming from hoping it's not someone out to harm you. You start to walk in the direction to you right but being cautious as you do so for you can still see nothing. You feel each step ahead with you foot before actually moving because you don't want to take the chance of falling somewhere and not being able to get out.
     
     As you move further and further you stop when you the voice once again calling your name. Yet this time it seems louder and it seems hollow to you. Maybe where you are is some type of cave or somewhere underground, but how could that be if where just outside earlier. You say to yourself, " I don't understand whats going on. How did I get to this place? Was it because of the explosion?" You keep moving forward and stop when you feel something that seems like a wall in front of you.You reach you right hand out to touch it and it fells wet bone chillingly cold.
You start to walk to you left and soon come to another wall. It feels the same. You turn and head back following the wall you first felt and suddenly your hand sinks into the wall. You instinctively pull your hand back.You hear a rumbling sound and turn towards the sound. The ground starts to shake and you fear what you have just done.
     
      You figure you have just opened up some kind of door as you see a light starting to emerge from within. The light is bright and there is an immense heat coming from inside. As the door opens you walk through and you hear a demonic laughter. it's that voice again but this time he speaks to you saying, "Joseph I got you now, you are mine. You WILL do as I command otherwise your soul shall burn for all eternity." You tell him, " I am no ones slave I will do as I please.  Now tell me who you are." A figure appears in front you its a tall evil looking man and he says in a powerful voice, " I am the Lord of the Underworld and all that is evil and chaotic. I am Decama. Now kneel before me and tell me you shall obey my every command. Kneel." You back up and look around. You see Kiona tied on chains hanging above what looks to be Decama's throne. Decama sees you staring your love,your wife for seven years now, and lets out a demented laugh that rumbles the ground and fells as though an earthquake just happened. You shout to Decama, "DECAMA RELEASE HER. RELEASE KIONA." He stares at you and says, Never, I will take her for myself. Now I tell you again KNEEL." You tell him you refuse to bow down to anyone as evil as him. He then strikes you. You slide several feet back and hit a wall blood pouring down all over you body. You stand up and refuse still. He strikes again this time you struggle to stand back up and Decama says, " You can not harm me, I am all powerful. Now kneel and I will spare your life." Once again you refuse steadily praying that the ultimate god Takuti, who you have been ever faithful to will come to save you. Decama says, " I see you will not surrender to me so now i will destroy your soul", and raises his hands to deal one final blow, surely to kill you.

     Suddenly a light appears and surrounds you right before his attack makes contact with you. He steps back and roars what is this. What is this light. A male being bright with light and says I shall not let you harm him. Decama says, " My brother, Takuti, What is this? You dare protect a mere human? Of what use is he to you?" Takuti says, "All who have come before you trembled and bowed with no refuse we watched you torture them and destroy them one by one as you call them foolish for trusting one a evil as you. He stood up until he could no more. I shall grant him his life back and give his his love Kiona back for you are the one who caused the death of both." Decama is silent and steps back. Takuti turns to you and says, " My child you have showed such bravery here that you deserve the life you once had. This is not you time. I warn you though my brother will come after in a later date. Prepare yourself you will find a letter in you dresser when you arrive back home speak of it to nobody but Kiona, then set out. Follow the directions and when you arrive at you destination you will begin learning the ways to defeat Decama once and for all."

     You sit there leaned against wall,your body covered in your own blood from the massive attacks you just endured. You stare at Takuti, speechless, trying to find the words the respond to what he just told you.Finally you ask, " Takuti. How will I ever get home from this place?" He says, "Joseph my boy sleep no, you will be home soon enough. Trust in me, and have faith like you always have. I promise I will guide you down the right path. You think to yourself if you should trust him after just being attacked by another God, but you can't recall ever being mislead by Takuti. You lay your head back, trying to block out the pain you are currently and finally drift away into a deep sleep.

                        Chapter 2: Back Home
     You wake up. You lie in bed, still in pain but it has eased some since your encounter with Decama. You slowly stand up and make you way to the bathroom. You look in the full body mirror on the back of you bathroom door and see your wounds have been healed but your body has several scars on it now, the worst of all is the one across your chest. Its in the form of an angle and stretches from your left shoulder all the way to bottom of the right side of your ribs. You hear a knock on the bathroom door and when you open it Kiona stands there, she looks at you then the scars on you body. Her eyes glisten as tears build up then start to fall among her face. You wrap your arms around her and tell her everything will be fine now and asks if she remembers anything after the explosion. She pauses then says, "Yes, I remember waking up seeing flames, molten lava and suddenly being wrapped in chains. Decama the Lord of the Underworld appeared and said that he was gonna kill you. For you had a power inside you that threatens his life. He said as long as that power is never awakened and never matures inside you then he can remain and this world would never be at peace."

     You look at her wondering what you can say to help calm her down and make her feel at peace and not worry , but, as soon as you open your your mouth to speak Kiona said, "Wait there's more." She pauses for a moment then speaks once more saying, "I woke up hanging above his throne and saw you lying against a wall covered in blood. My love what were you doing there. What happened?" You look at her. Tears rolling down her face and stare into her eyes. You reach beside you and grab a hand towel that is laying on the counter beside the sink. You wipe the tears from her eyes and put you hands on both sides of her face.

     You can see she starting to calm down realizing the unspoken words of comfort. Realizing that you want her not to cry and not to worry. You then say to her, "Kiona, my love. My darling wife. Lets go sit down i will tell you what happened, but first there is something I must grab. Something you need to see also." You walk with her to the living room and tell her have a seat and that you will be back in a minute. She walks to the love seat sitting along to far wall and sits down. She watches you as  you slowly walk to your room.

     In your room you change into something more comfortable a pair of loose shorts and a black t-shirt. You then walk up to your dresser and open the top drawer a envelope suddenly appears on top of everything. It's white with Old English writing on it. The only thing written on it is your name, Joseph. You pick it up and make your way back to living room where Kiona waits. You movement is slow for the pain you are in worsens as you walk. When you get to the living room you see Kiona sitting on the love seat. You walk up and sit beside her and tell her everything that happened between the explosion and when you woke up in bed. She looks at the envelope and says, "Is that the letter that speaks of what you must do?" You reply, "Yes," then open open it up and pull out the letter. You sit there holding the letter in your hand. It's a tan piece of parchment. You read aloud,
Joseph, as I have told you you are to travel on a journey. You will travel to the land of Taireed and within the forest you will find a small cottage built of logs from the surrounding woods. There will be a man named Taime who lives there and he will train you for only he knows how to defeat the one who you are destined to. You have a power that usually no mortal man or woman can control but your will and desire to push forward and stand up for yourself and those who you love will give you the strength you require. After your training is complete a messenger will appear and tell you what to do next. Remember Decama will stop at nothing to find and kill you so be cautious of where you go stay hidden in your travels until the time has come.

     After finished reading you look at Kioana. You can tell she is worried about your safety and begs you not to go. You tell her you must and both sit in silence for a while. She says, "Very well." Then lays her head on shoulder and falls asleep. You sit there staring at her with a smile on you face you thought you were never going to have such a peaceful moment with her ever again, you thought you were done for. You say to yourself, " after this journey is complete i will fully devote myself to making sure nothing happens to her again." You lay your head back enjoying your last night with Kiona for a very long time.

     You wake up its morning time. The sun starting to shine through the windows on each side of the door. Kiona is up making breakfast and asks, "Joseph, when are leaving?" You pause for a second then say to her, " I am leaving today, but i will return. Trust me I wish I could stay longer, but i must do this." She says, "I know and I will await your return." you stand up and walk to the kitchen sit down at the small round wooden table you built from a tree in the backyard. Kiona and yourself eat breakfast in silence. You feel sorry for having to leave her so soon after all that has just happened. After breakfast you take a shower go to your room and pack a small bag with some clothes and soap, grab a little non perishable food and some water. Kiss you wife goodbye. She starts to cry you wipe the tears from her eyes and say I shall return but until then, be safe my love. With those words being said you close the door not looking back and head off on your journey to the land of Taireed in search of Taime to begin you training.

                              Chapter 3: The Journey Ahead
     Joseph heads off and fades out of Kiona sight as she stares watching him leave, wondering if she'll ever see him again. As you walking all you can think about is Kiona, wondering how she feeling at that moment. You say to yourself, " after all that just happened, now me having to leave, I wonder she feels. I don't know if ill get to the place or not and if you do then how long must you stay away from her?" But even with those thoughts you still trust that Takui will guide you in right direction. You push the thoughts aside and try to get more focused and speed up pace.

     As hours pass all you thinking bout is what the training ahead would be like. what you are going to be doing. And trying to figure out what Takuti said when he told you that you had a special power inside you.What kind of power? Then you started thinking about Kiona again you pushed the thoughts aside you don't wanna lose focus. Also you now Decama is still going to be after and you must stay alert.

     "Its stating to get dark, I better find a spot and get something to eat real quick." You look around and see a small clearing to you right you head over there and sit against a tree. You open your bag and bag and break off part of a loaf of bread. You eat it then drink some water and head back into woods. You know there still a few hours before it gets completely dark. After a few hours you find a small area with only few trees you set up a little tint using a blanket some sticks and rocks. You put on some extra clothes and go to sleep.

     The next morning you wake up, the sun just starting to rise you pack everything back up and start off again. I some way you feel like you know where you gotta even though you have no map nor know any directions to the place\. It just seems like you being guided. When it gets near nightfall again you see a small light. You head towards it. As you get closer you realize its a town. Its small and only has a few houses and a  pub. You go inside and sit down, you then order a beer. This tall young guy walks up and sits down. He says, "You look kinda rough. You headed out to somewhere?" You say, "Yes I am just stopping in for a drink then I'm gone." He says, "Hey it's getting late you know, you can come stay by my place. You can stay there get an good nights sleep and a shower. You can leave in the morning." You tell him, "Thank You." And order you each a beer. He asks your name yous aid Joseph, he replied and said his was Timothy. You finish your beer and wait for him to finish his. After he's done you ask if he can take you to his house now, and that you would like to get as much rest as possible. he agreed and you left the the pub.

     Outside you go down the road and take a left two houses down on the right he stops and says, "Well this is it."  You smile and walk with him. He shows you to a small bedroom in the back gives a blanket and shows you the bathroom. You thank him again and tells you goodnight if you need something he's right down the hall just ask. You immediately take a shower then get comfortable and lay down. You almost instantly fall asleep.

     The next day you wake up Timothy was out side chopping wood. You walk him and tell him you appreciate his kindness and wish you could repay him in someway but must leave. you asks where you going and you simply reply, "Taireed." he tells you that about two days walk North you should reach the land of Taireed. with nothing more said you turn and head North. You leave the small town and focus only on reaching your destination.

You walk until night and then stop and sleep. The next day you feel more energetic and seems like your faster. You got your mind strictly on getting to Taireed. Then finding Taime and staring the training. Since started you know you main goal is to get back to Kiona after it's finished. That's your motivation to do anything that put in front you. A rest tonight i figure you re in Taireed now just by the time whats passed. You Sleep You wake up get ready to leave to have a feeling you should go to the right. You stand up and head out the your right . You walk for almost half a day now you come across a wood built house.

     You go up and and knock. A  mid sized guy opens up and says, "Yes,  do you need something kid sir?" You reply, "i am looking for Taime." He says," Yes I am he who are you ?" you say lets meet in private."He says, "Fine lets go." You follow him to a private room and you tell him of what you been told and the letter. He says, "I understand. Fine then lets begin, tomorrow at sunrise." You agreed. You follow eat, shower, then go to bed.


                                   Chapter 4: Training Begins
     You are awakened in the morning by Taime. He says, " Wake up.  Dawn is on the rise and so you shall be also. Your body still weak from Decama and even weaker from the journey here. Even with the pain you don't question Taime's order and get dressed. You follow him to the back were he stops and says, "This is were you'll be training."

     He said first off you must build you endurance, stamina, and bodily strength. He points at a large stack of chopped logs. He said, "Chop all these up and stack them over here to the left of the house. Next you will take all these bricks and build a fireplace near the wood you chopped. Lastly you will chop these logs and stack them by the stump for you to do tomorrow." You say nothing just nod and walk over to the stump and pick up the ax. You done this before but in your weakened state the ax seems to weigh a ton. You put your first piece of wood on the stup and swing the ax down splitting it in two. You then put the two peices on the other side.

      Taime stands and watches you for a moment then starts to head back to the house. When he reaches the door he stops and says, I will be back to get you for each meal, until then keep it up." You say nothing, just continue to chop. Taime openss the door, walks in, then closes it behind him. as you work sharp pain shoot through your upper body. You try you best to push aside the pain and focus only on your work.

     Hours pass then Taime walks outside and says to you, "Come on inside it's time to eat." You stop and look at him, then follow him inside to the kitchen. He has cooked eggs, hash browns, and some sausage. You begin to eat. After your done you wash your plate then tell himm, Thank you. I appreciate the food." You begin to head back toward the back door he tells you to wait. You stop and turn around. He hands you a canteen of water and says you'll need it. It gets really hot here during mid-day. You take the canteen, thank him once more then head backk to work.

     Near mid-day you finish chopping the wood. You start moving it all to the left side of the house where you were told to put it. After you finish with that you move all the bricks there. Before you begin to make the fireplace you were told to Taime comes and tells you its lunch time. You go inside, eat fill your canteen back up and head back outside To begin  your next task.

Somehow you seem more relieved to have a task like this compared to you first one. You create a 10 x 10 brick  base for the fireplace, leaving four inches between each brick for the fire to breath and burn properly. The next layer of bricks you place over each opening leaving the same amount of space between those also. You continue this to a height of two feet. You then close it in completely having around all sides for another foot and a half. On the right side where the wood sits you left a opening for adding the wood that is three bricks log and 5 bricks high.

     By the time you finish its starting to cool down a little bit, you guess it's getting to be evening time. You move the logs to the stump that holds your ax. You pick up the ax and begin chopping the logs down in to one foot pieces. You stack them as you chopping, realizing this is the quickest moving task so far. Right as you are about to finish Taime returns once more, saying it's time for dinner. he then pauses looks at everything and says, "I can wait since your almost completed , and walks over to the fireplace built earlier. he examines the way you built it then smiles and, says to himself, "Nicely done." You walk up and say, "OK I am finished." He looks at your new pile and says, "Now then, lets go eat."

     After dinner you go and take a much wanted shower. You get dressed and go meet Taime in the living room. He tells you that he was happy with you work and knows you must still be in pain from days past before you arrived. You tell him yes but you will do whatever you must to make your body tougher. He smiles and says good cause you training has just begun.

[close]

(Chapter 5: The Real training) coming soon

[Emperor Wilbers]

It's good, but a little cliche.

[Throndir]

I think is forming out well. Keep it up.

Tell me what ya'll think,compliments and criticism both are fine itll help me make it better

First the critique. One thing I'd recommend is running it through spell-check, there were some things like "i=here", and some other things that spell-check can easily fix up for you. I'm usually never one for grammar and spelling, but it goes a long way in making things look neat. Another thing I'd like to comment on is your switch from first person to second person in the beginning. You should stick with a particular point of view and stay with it. I would also recommend splitting up your third paragraph. A new paragraph should be started when a new person is talking since it makes it a lot easier to read.

Next the positives. I liked the mysteriousness of it all, and I commend you on the introductory lines; the first sentences gave a sense of suspense and excitement, I came home tired from the day and figured to read some of the stories, the first lines were a good hook. I think it's great and you should really keep writing more. I like how you're venturing into second and first person viewpoints, and it's always refreshing to read something in those points of view.

As for Emperor's comment, well, many of my first stories were really clich?. XD Take it for how it is, and I think the piece is great.

[Kazamatta]

cliche or not its ony the begining when it gets further into it it it'll turn out better begining's of some of the most popular stories, even romeo and juliet, i read were really seemed like they needing work in begining. Like I said i'll be updating daily so if your interested in it check each day for updates. Thank you for your words of advice and critisism (Throndir).It'll help me make this story better for the reader and overall.

[Emperor Wilbers]

I really liked the second chapter. I thought it was better than the first. Although, there were a LOT of typos.

[Kazamatta]

Yea I noticed fixed some but said oh well ill fix it tomorrow. When I was still in High School I was in advanced english but between texting and chat lines i have a tendence not to worry bout spelling while i type but love the criticism from u and Thron itll help me make it a better story.